My morning ritual has changed. Before, Steve would drop off our little munchkin to the Nursery school. These days, I would drop him off and sit with him for a little bit while he eats his breakfast. After that, I would attend the morning mass and then head out to work.
I miss doing our chores together, our “divide and conquer” routine in the morning and in the evening when we both get home from work. I miss our “winding down” time Continue reading “75 Days”→
This coming Saturday, July 21 we’ll resume the Let’s Bring Steve Home Voluntary Search Activity. We are lucky to have Find Me group and Arizona Search Track And Rescue (AZ-STAR) to help us in finding Steve or clues about his disappearance. That is only one part that will be ongoing regarding our Voluntary search. My family and friends are also planning to check out medical facilities which could be a challenging task. I’ll get into this more next time since I would like to talk about the Volunteer group that will be coming from Arizona.
Find Me is a unique group of volunteers that consists of retired law enforcement agents, intuitive consultants, canine search and rescue professionals that had been assisting families Continue reading “67 Days”→
Every Sunday, I would like to reflect back on all the good things in my life, or anything positive that had happened during the past week.
Today is a good day.
I spent the day with my family and we delegated among ourselves what are the things that needs to be done regarding the Let’s Bring Steve Home Prayer Vigil. My aunt Naomi & my mom cooked dinner and they cooked tilapia in vinegar broth, a Filipino comfort food for me. I may not tell this to their faces but I’m really grateful that I have them there planning with me.
We Skyped with my in-laws (Steve’s family) for an hour and a half and my little munchkin told them stories, sang and showed them shapes and numbers. I’m grateful for for that moment.
I had a movie night out with my mommy friends and I really had a good time. For a couple of hours, I was transported somewhere else where I don’t have to think that Steve is still missing. It doesn’t even matter what movie I was watching because I’d been out of the loop about what movies are currently being shown. I’m grateful for the company I had.
But as soon as the movie was over. I just had this overwhelming feeling of missing him. I remember how understanding he has been about me- spending time with my girlfriends. I remember as soon as I got home, we’ll usually talk about what we did during the time we’re not together. I’m grateful for that memory. I’m so grateful for his generosity.
The Let’s Bring Steve Home Voluntary Searches has been giving me hope because leads has started to trickle in. This has made possible by the volunteers who made the time and effort to help our family in this crisis, the local media outlets who helped in maintaining the awareness that Steve is still missing, and the Search and Rescue teams who traversed the Verdugo mountains searching for clues about his disappearance.
I never thought I would be in a position where I would be talking to a counselor about trauma. I thought all the Oprah shows I had watched would have prepared me for anything – but not this. All the caring thoughts and messages from the facebook to personal messages I received, I really do appreciate and it does help me. I told my counselor that I needed something more. I needed to talk to or connect to people who had been or who does have the same predicament that I do, that have a loved one missing. My counselor was wise enough not to suggest a bereavement group because I just balked at that thought. Because no one knows for sure what happened to Steve, not even the FBI or the Burbank Police Department, and not even the psychics of the world.