We had started working on the preparations for the funeral service the day before just in case it was him. I was numb with pain but I have to do the 1001 task that needs to be done.
The FBI SACs met with me at home regarding the updates on benefits which was one of their administrative task. I just stared at the paper and envelope and I was thinking, “What is this? What is the benefit of Steve being gone? I want him ALIVE.”
For those who didn’t know him, he was full of life. The body in the coroner’s office is not the Steve I know and love. But it’s him. I love him so much and it hurts to think that this is happening and this still feels surreal. And I miss him so.
The funeral details will be posted here on the website. For those who had helped me and guided me in this journey. I am eternally grateful. Another journey awaits and I pray everyday for clarity, to lift this veil of cloud in my mind and pain in my heart so I can see clearly the path that lays before me.