Thea's Thoughts

21st Day

Three weeks. I’d been counting everyday since Steve disappeared because I believe that counting the days he’s not home will eventually end & he’ll be back.

Grief. I’d always associated grief with death. Initially, I don’t want that word to associate with what I’m feeling. Someone enlightened me that grief is about loss & not necessarily just about death. Now, I accept t…he fact that I do grieve because he’s not with me at this moment, wondering & not knowing where he is. I do grieve that our little munchkin doesn’t have a Daddy to hug & play with right now. At a certain time everyday, I always look at our entry door & expecting he’ll be coming in. The little one would hear & recognize the keys jiggling & call out, “Daddy, Daddy, watch Elmo, watch Elmo!” Precious moments.

My girlfriends took care of Kyle today because I have to make up time for work. I have an amazing boss who understands my predicament. It’s so true that you realize who your real friends are at critical moments in your life. And when you do, make sure you keep them. Old friends had been reaching out to me. I’d always cherished those connections. It’s incredible & I’m grateful.

Three weeks. Someone out there must have seen him. It’s impossible that no one did. If anyone knows something, please reach out to our family, reach out to the Burbank Police Department at (818) 238-3000 or the FBI at (310) 477-6565. Please share this page because a friend of a friend of your friend might recognize him.

Thank you.

Thea's Thoughts

20th Day

If Steve comes home right now, he’ll be bemused that I’d splashed his face all over the internet in my search for him. He shies away from the spotlight in spite of his notable work as an LAPD officer & an FBI agent. He doesn’t tell me this. His colleagues are the ones who tell me about his work. He doesn’t toot his own horn & he just wants to do a damn good job. But I k…now that he’ll be grateful that people do care.

I was telling someone last night that when I started this facebook page, I just wanted a voice to represent our family & Steve. I’m awed by the thoughtful messages & positive inputs we’d been receiving. It’s refreshing to see how total strangers reaches out to me & my family who sincerely wants to help out. I’m so grateful for that.

Thank you.

Thea's Thoughts

19th Day

This is my last day off for the holidays & today I just needed to do a lot of errands that concerns Steve’s disappearance & mundane tasks like housekeeping. In the midst of these tasks, I still take a moment & just “be” what I’m feeling. I can’t help it.

I know it’s the 19th day & I’m getting anxious. But I’m still hoping & praying that he’s somewhere safe & that he’s …coming back.

I’d mentioned before that I’m opening my options to an alternative method of finding Steve. I’d started to connect with people that can help me & I hope that the lead investigators will have no problem working with them.

Thank you for all the thoughtful messages that I’d been receiving. It really means a lot to me.

Thea's Thoughts

18th Day

“Never blame a day in your life… good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience. Both are essential to life, all are God’s blessings.” ~Unknown

To honor Memorial Day, our family visited the Arlington West Memorial at the Santa Monica Pier. We have great respect for Veterans since my family have relatives who were in the army. I think everyone have a relative however distant who serves in the military. It was also a nice day walking al…ong the boardwalk going to Venice Beach. The little munchkin had a really nice time looking around his surroundings & naming objects that he can identify.

It’s a good day because I realized how people really care about my mission. The lovely ladies from my Pandora groups, mommy & me groups, & old friends had been reaching out to me, & total strangers sending me positive messages and helpful inputs about this situation. I really do appreciate that.

Our family would like to put up a page on LA Times to post Steve’s “Missing Person” ad because we want to reach out to many people as possible since the law enforcement agencies are not actively looking for him. Instead, they’re now working on lead-based investigations. That means, if there’s no leads then there’s no activity in the search for Steve. We realized not everyone goes to the internet and that avenue is a really good option. We are also looking at distributing flyers at the libraries within Burbank, North Hollywood & Glendale so that volunteers can just pick them up & post them wherever they think is a good spot to post Steve’s “Missing Person” flyers. If you would like to help in raising money for the “Missing Person” ad & printing out the flyers, you can click the paypal donation button thru our website: We’re still working on creating a paypal donation button on facebook.

Thank you so much for your continuous prayers, encouragement & support thru any means.

With much love & blessings.

Thea's Thoughts

17th Day

According to the parenting experts & research, the 1st 3 to 5 years, are the critical window in terms of child’s growth because this is the time the child’s brain develops most dramatically. Now, I wonder how this traumatic event in our family is affecting our little munchkin. He has always been a happy child but these days, there are more moments that he has been fussy,… sad, lethargic & has lost appetite. In the morning, he wakes up crying & missing his Daddy. He misses their routine in the morning, their outings in the park & their routine at night time. This is breaking my heart because Steve has always been a great Dad to our little munchkin. They are both the love of my life.

I’m so grateful that my family & friends has been great with taking care of him whenever I needed a break during that difficult 1st two weeks. Everything has changed but we do try to continue having the same schedule and the same routine to keep some normalcy in our lives these days. I’m determined to find Steve but at the same time I’m fiercely protective of my child. His happiness, safety & well-being are the most important things for me right now.

I really appreciate your prayers, sincere input & messages, & helping me with posting the “missing person” flyers in your area.

Thank you.

Thea's Thoughts

16th Day

Boston Celtics won tonight’s game. I wish Steve’s here w/ me right now enjoying the NE team’s triumph. Our family spend the day with friends who hosted an early barbecue dinner. Those are things that he enjoys. There are moments during the day that I’m thinking & imagining where he could probably be. The possibilities are endless because until now we have no news.

I’m r…eally glad to know people like you who care enough to share your thoughts here & give our family moral support in our search for Steve. Thank you for your constant prayers. My aunt Naomi had ended her 9 days of Novena so I invite you to post prayers or positive thoughts here because it does help me, too.

Have a great Memorial weekend everyone.

Thank you.See More

Thea's Thoughts

15th Day

We went to the Verdugo mountains today and posted some “missing person” flyer along the way. I was thinking this was so surreal. This only happens in the television show or in a movie. I remember how sad I felt for the families with a missing child or an adult. And now, I’m part of these families.

Family & friends, I’m on a mission. I want to find my husband. My child …needs him. I understand that this is such an enormous undertaking. I don’t how & I don’t when but I’ll find him. We will bring him back home safely but I need your help. There are things that you can help me:

1. Your continuous prayers had been giving me strength.

2. The FBI & BPD had turned to lead based investigation so they need really good leads. Please pass this along to ALL your friends worldwide & ask them to LIKE this page. You’ll never know who will see this message & they might have any information leading to bringing back Steve home safely.

3. Please print, distribute & post the “missing person” flyer at the parks, hiking trails, soup kitchens, schools, churches, grocery stores, community boards, homeless shelters, hospitals, etc. or anywhere you think would help. Please share on the wall where you posted the “missing person” flyer by posting a picture. I will also create a “Notes” section about locations where “missing person” flyer had been posted. You can edit the “Notes” & type in where you posted a “missing person” flyer so that we don’t double the effort.

That’s it for now.

I want to express my appreciation for all the moral support I’m receiving. Your assistance means so much to me in this difficult period.

Thank you.

Thea's Thoughts

14th Day

This marks the 2nd week that Steve had been missing. The wait had been agonizing to our family.

The search in the Verdugo Mountains ended this past weekend but the investigators promised us that they will continue looking for him by tips coming from the public. Someone out there must have seen him, so please let us know here on facebook, call the Burbank Police Departm…ent at 818-238-3000 or the FBI at 310-477-6565.

Someone sent me a private message here on facebook & gave me a tip that I forwarded to the BPD & FBI. One thing that struck me in what she said is that the interpretation of the news that’s going out in the public is that he’s possibly dangerous. Again, I have to reiterate that he’s NOT a danger to anyone. In the family press conference, we confirmed that he’s depressed BUT he’s not crazy, he’s not homicidal, he’s not bipolar, & he’s not schizophrenic.

Because of this perception, it is a possibility that people who had seen him, would have been scared to approach him and to let him know that his family loves him unconditionally & just needs him back. And if that happened, that was a lost opportunity to bring him home.

This is one the reasons why we have this facebook page. The messages that we’ll be posting on the wall will be coming straight from our family. This is our platform to clear up any misconceptions, reach out to the public & to maintain awareness of our goal to bring him home safely. This is not a front from any organization.

We posted a missing person flyer so you can help us with printing, distributing & posting this at the parks, hiking trails, soup kitchens, schools, churches, grocery stores, community boards, homeless shelters, cemeteries, hospitals, etc. or any place you could think of.
We’re still asking you to include him in your prayers, with the intention that Steve will come home safely.

I’ll never get tired of thanking all the people who had been tirelessly helping out our family in this time of crisis, and the people involved in helping him come home safely.

Thank you.

Thea's Thoughts

13th Day

The lady reporter asked me to describe Steve. I didn’t think I really described him enough. Yes, he’s reserved, a loving & devoted Dad, a generous & thoughtful husband, a hard-worker & meticulous agent but he’s also funny. I usually tease him that he does have a weird sense of humor. He doesn’t talk too much w/ anyone unless you ask him something. But with me, we talk fr…om the mundane to the most esoteric topics all night long. And he loves talking about our little munchkin. I love watching how his eyes lit up & how he gets to be so animated whenever we talk about him.

When I watched the television and the reporter described this case as getting cold, I just felt dread creeping up my spine. I wanted to scream. This is not going to be another cold case. This is not going to be just another number in someone else’s file. But WE DO NEED YOUR HELP. If there’s anything at all, even little information that anyone knows, please contact the Burbank Police Department.

Thank you so much for all the support, help, and for reaching out to me & my family. We appreciate all the prayers & we ask everyone to continue praying with us in any way or form, or religion, or even to continue sending out positive vibes.

Thank you.

Thea's Thoughts

12th Day

They often say that, “no news is good news.” But that doesn’t apply in this case because no news is excruciating. I’d considered reaching out to Allison Dubois because I heard she also have a good track record of finding a missing person. Does anyone personally know her? Can anyone help me in making a connection with her?

I’m so grateful that our family has been rece…iving so much kindness, support, food (!), & messages of love. Your prayers had been so helpful & it’s giving us strength to go on. Let’s keep the faith that Steve will be back home soon!

We’re reaching out to the public once again that if anyone have any information that will help in finding Steve, please contact the Burbank Police Department. Any leads is crucial & things may seem to be unimportant could be even significant.

Thank you.